What if...

What if you woke up this morning and the only thing you had left was what you thanked God for last night?

Kelli
http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Appt update

Well it didn't go the way we were expecting. Good news is Abe got a much needed larger gtube even though we couldn't get him an appt. Hopefully that will help cut down on the irritation & bleeding. 

Bad news is Michala is so impacted that she is going to have to be admitted 2-3 days (praying for 24 hours) for an ng tube (I will have nightmares about that one for sure) & golytely. She has some bleeding but for now we will take care of this & then deal with that. She said we may have to end up with a gtube to be able to control this. 

She did say for us to go ahead with our trip & we will admit her when we get back. Just one more thing! My attitude has stunk lately & this is definitely not helping. Gonna put it behind me & deal with it when we are back. 

Update

I feel like I haven't sent an email in quite sometime. We are heading to Egleston for Michala's GI appt & hopefully they will see Abe to. I just thought I would update while I had a chance. 

Michala has never seen GI. We are hoping for a direction with her stomach issues. We couldn't get Abe in for an appt until the end of the month. I think his gtube is too small & is what is causing so much irritation. We are hoping she will check him & measure him for a new one. 

Friday night Mike & I had a date. Our dear friends have been wanting to come over to play with our babies while we went out. They kept asking when they could come. Finally they gave us dates & said ya'll are going. We had a wonderful night out. When we got back home the house was full of laughter & smiles. They even asked when they could do it again. What a blessing to have friends that want to spend time with our children. It meant a great deal to us that they would give of their time for us. 

Other than that not much is happening in our world. Just the daily fun stuff. Mike has a conference coming up next week so we will be heading to Orlando. We are very excited for some sunshine & to see our wonderful Disney friends. 

We are almost there so I will cut this short. Hope everyone has a wonderful day! 

Michala in Marlee Anne's desk chair

I caught Michala in Marlee Anne's desk chair. She climbed up there all by herself. She was so proud & even looked me off when I told her to get down. Such a teenager attitude going on. Love it!!!

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Peter Pan

I cannot seem to shut my mind off tonight. I am standing, well ok sitting vigil over Michala tonight. She has been having some very strange going ons for several hours. Right now she is sleeping beside me. We are praying it's a migraine & will be much better in the morning. So while I am sitting here with her I thought I would share our day. Sometimes in the midst of our seizure & medical filled days we are taken away & experience something that brings all of us joy together as a family. Today thanks to wonderful Camp Sunshine & amazing Peter Pan we did just that.

I have a feeling my words will not convey the amazement of this show. It's in the white tent beside World of Coke. If you have the opportunity to go in Atlanta or anywhere please do. You will not be sorry!

We were seated on the front row in the wheelchair section. Even for Mike & I those seats were really below the stage so don't sit on the front row! Marlee Anne has the opportunity to move to the second row during the second act & that was much better she said. However she did say that dad's lap worked really well too.

The screen is 360 & the view is spectacular. As the narration started I began to cry. I have always loved this story. Well when Peter Pan, Tink (oh my!) & the Darling children flew through the air I wish I could have taken pictures of my children's expressions on their faces. No words!

Ok all the cast was amazing. Tinkerbell had an attitude that was priceless. At one point Tink is hurt. Peter tells us all to whisper we believe in fairies. As I look around to see people whispering my eyes lock on this precious little girl. She is seriously into making Tink fly again. When Tink flies this little girl is amazed! This little girl could have very well fought cancer or is fighting it now but at that moment that didn't matter because in her sweet little mind she just single handily gave Tinkerbell the power to fly. Priceless!!! Then when Peter Pan & Captain Hook were right beside her fighting she was in awe one minute & laughing the next.

No way Camp Sunshine or Peter Pan the show could have known that it would impact so many lives on those few hours today. Maybe they hope they would. Well they succeeded. At least with our family I know they did.

So again if you have the chance to go see it please do.

Afterwards we had big plans to go to the Cheesecake Factory. However some of our Camp Sunshine friends wanted us to go eat at Baha Fresh with them. It was a great way to end the day spending time with them. So wonderful to see everyone!!!

Ok if you made it this far & it's still Monday please say a special prayer for Michala. Well even if it's Tuesday but hopefully by then all will be well.

3 years ago

3 years ago the nurse had just come to get Abe to give him a bath so we could go home that morning. Within minutes I heard them call a code blue. I knew right away it was Abe. I waited a few minutes & no one came. I walked down to the nursery & was told to go back to my room. In a little while the doctor came to tell me Egleston was on the way to get him but she didn't think he would make there. 

When Mike got to the hospital we took the walk into the nursery to say our good-byes. Very similar to the journey with Mary Elizabeth years before. Once again family & friends came to journey with us. 

I would have much rather taken him home & played house. However looking back I know had that not happen in the nursery he wouldn't be with us today. 

Those 5 weeks in the NiCU were so hard. However I know the dear friendship that was renewed in Marvel Anne, the new friendship made with Nancy, Kim, sweet little Bridget, our dear Terri's, our forever friend Rebekah who spoiled him & of course our ever faithful Mo. Can't forget the NICU knitters that taught me how to knit. None of that would have happened. Even though I hated the suffering I am thankful for what came from it. 

As I hold him now helplessly as he struggles with seizures I am thankful God had other plans. Not the seizures of course but his life. I have learned so much in the 3 difficult years of his life. So thankful to be reminded that this is only a blink of an eye. 

I have had trouble today just being able to breathe. I so hope that this is behind me & there are better days ahead. For some reason I wasn't prepared for this to hit me so hard this year. 

From Abe's daddy

If I ever question God's plan for my life I have just been reminded that He knew all along what He was doing by bringing this man into my life. Mike wrote this letter for Abe & I asked him if I could share it. Many of you don't get to see what an incredible man he truly is. I am blessed that God created such an incredible person that along with juggling the stresses of our family's medical needs, his job that provides all our needs, my wonderful (ha) female self & he still has the patience & love to share with us. He could have easily walked away. Blessed beyond measure in so many ways! The other day when I came home crying from a shopping trip to help find a gift for Abe & he said I understand - he truly does!

Happy Birthday Abe,

 

One thousand and ninety five days longer than I expected. Yes I remember it well, sometimes too well.  The day you came into this world and the horror that followed. The mere thought of having to give you back right after you came was heartbreaking. Can't say that I blame you, if I saw what you were getting into, well  I might have asked to be recalled if I had a choice. After Marlee Anne was born I thought your Mom and I had gotten it right. Turned out to be  just more pain and suffering for an innocent child. You see Abe, Marlee Anne was not suppose to be the only one who would gain a playmate. Now mind you, I have never been partial to a child's gender. I would have been just as happy and proud to have raised four girls, but even so I had hopes and dreams of what the two of us could have done. The world would have not been able to contain us. Sadly I get to stand by and watch you suffer through another difficult day. I wish I could fix you and make things right. However, I am just a simple  man, incapable  of healing you, but forever able to love you. Your recent smiles and giggles have been such blessings and I believe that better things are to come. I can't  help it Abe I am just that way. I believe in the glass half full. I just know that God has a purpose for everything, not just for your life or my life, but in everything. Abe I look forward to the days ahead. There will be challenges and difficult times for sure, but we can make it. Even in the valley of the shadow of death the Lord will be with us. You see Abe I know how  the story ends. There will be an eternity of time for the realization of all of our hopes and dreams, but just not here on this Earth…… just not here.

 

Happy Birthday My Son!

I love you,
Dad

Happy Birthday Abe

Three years ago I was at the hospital waiting to be induced to have our precious baby boy. I think Marlee Anne was the most excited of us all. She had dreamed of this day & all they would do together right along with us. She always said for his 3rd birthday she was going to take him to Toys R Us & let him pick out whichever ride-on toy he would like. Instead she struggles just like us to find something besides diapers or an outfit that will work for him. Mike said everywhere he & Marlee Anne turned this weekend there was a 3 year old little boy running around. While we are rejoicing that Abe is 3 we continue to grieve the little boy we lost. 

We are so thankful to have friends & family that understand how very hard this is. His birthday party is not about the gifts but about celebrating the gift of his life. 

Even though I struggle & don't understand it I am thankful. My prayer today is that satan would flea so that I can fully receive the blessings God has in store for me. Also that the water works would stop before Marlee Anne sees them. I don't want her memory of her mom to be she cried all the time. 

We would like to thank ya'll for being there for us & praying us through the first 3 years of this rollercoaster ride. We would like to thank God for carrying us through and showing us what matters most in life.

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Happy New Year

>
> Well let's see the Christmas cards never went out, I didn't get my traditional Christmas ham for the first year ever, & I am just now telling ya'll Happy New Year. Still life went on & God is still good!
>
> Christmas Day we were blessed to have Michala's Aicardi sister come & stay with us until this past Monday while her parents & 9 year old sister went on a cruise. We miss her greatly. Ok maybe not my back.
>
> Mike is busy as always being the best husband in the world & number 1 daddy while juggling work & still going to college.
>
> Mary Elizabeth seemed to be doing so much better until yesterday when she started getting real cold. Trying to keep her warm is so challenging lately. She is struggling with her eating & drinking again. I cannot believe she is almost 18 & we have to apply for guardianship for her.
>
> Michala finally got her ipad. What a patient little girl. The jewelry & craft orders I got around Christmas helped along with her birthday money. She really likes it too. I thought I didn't want one until I saw her's but they are really cool.
>
> Marlee Anne is doing good. She is studying hard & had no problem doing school through the holidays even though the other kids were out of school.
>
> Abe has been struggling with his screaming. Maybe he was trying to tell us this lovely weather was coming.
>
> I am taking it slow to get my back better. Have lots of things on my to do list but for now those will wait. I have really been enjoying making my jewelry.
>
> I do hope that everyone has a healthy & happy 2011!
>
> Always thankful!!!
>

Thankful!

Tonight when we are supposed to be at one of our traditional Christmas parties I am reminded to be thankful. Even though I miss being out as a family celebrating I am thankful to be home.

Friday when I sat Mary Elizabeth up to give her her morning meds she gasped for air. I suctioned her & gave her a breathing treatment before giving her her meds. She struggled taking her meds & wouldn't drink. I put her in the van & headed for the peditricians office.

Once there they came running in the room working with her & called the ambulance. The EMT saw her & said we would have to go across the street to Rockdale until she was stable enough to take to Egleston. When he picked her up it must have dislodged something because she was breathing much easier. He put her on 8 liters of oxygen just to get her sats at a good level. He said we would head to Egleston but if she got in distress again we would have to go to the nearest hospital.

I was shocked on the way to Egleston at how many people didn't pull over to let us pass. The EMT driving said they deal with that all the time. So my request is next time you see any emergency vehicle with their lights & siren on please pull over & let them pass.

Once we got to Egleston & they started working on Mary Elizabeth the EMT told me he was very scared when he walked in Dr. Patonay's office & saw her. I was the most scared I have been in quite awhile.

After her xray we found out she had double pneumonia. She was put on Cpap 8 liters at 100%. She was admitted to the ICU.

Thankful for the prayers! The medical team was all laid out start to finish. From Dr. Patonay & her amazing staff, the awesome nurse that stuck her once & only once for the most beautiful IV you have ever seen, to the doctors & nurses that released her from ICU. They kicked us out because the hospital was so full of really bad stuff & they didn't want her to get something else. We were also at a point we could do all they were doing except the IV meds. Once again our sweet girl reminded me of what a mighty God we serve. He used her in a mighty way at the hospital witnessing to many.

So you see while my heart wishes for more my spirit is renewed & thankful for the true spirit of Christmas that fills our home tonight. Mary Elizabeth is still on oxygen, taking extra meds, breathing treatments & suctioning but we are home together. A family unit as Marlee Anne says.

We cannot thank everyone enough for stepping in & filling the void while she was in the hospital. From taking care of the kids & Mike, bringing me Starbucks since the coffee shop was closed, bringing my hospital bag that I ran out & forgot, doing my last minute shopping for me & just volunteering truly for whatever! Thanks so very much for the support & most of all the prayers! Please continue the prayers for healing for Mary Elizabeth's lungs. She is still a very sick little girl. Please pray for protection so that everyone else stays well.

Our Christmas cards have not gone out, things we usually do have not been done, but you know what, the most incredible time of year will still happen on Saturday morning. We will wake up in a warm home together & sing happy birthday to Jesus. Merry CHRISTmas ya'll!!!

With love & a thankful heart!

Kelli
http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

For a great cause

My friend made wonderful necklace, bracelet & earring sets & donated them to help the Magana family adopt Liliana. The set is $20 & would make a lovely Christmas gift. You can order from the website below. Thanks!

The Magana family is adopting a beautiful special needs child named Liliana from China and as many of you know, international adoption is very expensive.  I donated 100 snowflake glass tile necklaces to the Magana family to help with adoption fees.  100% of the purchase price goes toward bringing Liliana home this January!  You can purchase a snowflake necklace as well as a matching bracelet and earring set that my sister donated on Liliana's blog.  http://www.snowflakesoflove.blogspot.com/  I really want these to sell well for the Magana family!  Thanks so much for looking!

 

Appt update

First thanks so very much for the prayers! Nice to read emails on the way to the doctor to keep my mind busy when Mike is on work calls.

Well he decrease Michala's VNS cycle. She is still having 2 seizures a day. Some are pretty violent & they last any where from 2-20 minutes. Once again we accept they fact that she is going to have them. It's about quality of life. She had gained 6 lbs in 3 months & Dr. Flamini was very pleased with that. It's that cheeseburger diet he put her on.

Ok so for our little complex buddy. He did not adjust his VNS because he didn't want to throw something else in the mix. He wants him to have a CAT scan to make sure there is nothing there putting pressure on his brain. We are going to try melatonin & then clonodine. In other words who knows?! At least we have options to try.

Our big excitement came when the fire alarm went off & Dr. Flamini about fell out of his chair. We had to be escorted down the elevator by security. We still don't know what happen. We were only told that it wasn't a drill.

I am tired & I know this email comes across as negative. I don't mean to be! I am thankful to have a doctor who cares about our children & mine & Mike's well being as well.

Thanks again for all the prayers!!!

Kelli
http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Michala & Abe's appt

Michala & Abe have appts today with the neurologist. Would ya'll please pray for a safe trip? Also would you please pray that the doctor has some answers, suggestions or directions for Abe's non-stop crying. I am honestly not ready to accept that it's neurological & there is nothing we can do for his screaming literally from sundown to sun up. I feel very helpless & it hurts my heart! It is wearing on my nerves & it's exhausting. 

Abe's appt at Shriners

Well we are heading home from Shriners in Greenville. Everything went well. They said we could try the AFOs to see if they keep his clubfeet from turning back in. We will also keep a close check on his scoliosis to make sure it doesn't curve too much or too fast. Thanks so much for the prayers for safe travels & a good appt!

Camp Sunshine - WOW!!!

WOW!!! Even that word does not begin to cover this weekend! WOW! Just WOW!!!

We checked in at Camp Twin Lakes around 6:45 Friday night. We had time to get settled in our cabin before meeting everyone in the gym. I had gotten in touch with several of our friends that might be there this weekend. All of them said no. Not one single one of the families we were going to know. It nice to have to comfort of familiar faces but I have to tell you I was excited to get to meet new families.

We walked in the gym & immediately Marlee Anne saw friends she had met at sibling camp this summer. Right away we met a very sweet family from Griffin who Marlee Anne had been at sibling camp with the sibling Rylee. Then we met our camp doctor for the weekend. Well actually we met her daughter Shay age 3 who volunteered to help with the girls & Abe for the weekend. Just precious!!!

Mike met Jacob & after we met back up he was telling me all about him. Well Jacob was someone I had to meet. As I was doing meds this mom came up & said I have never seen so many meds & Jacob has a lot. I immediately bonded with his mom Heidi & got to meet Jacob. They love Disney as much as up or if possible more. She & her husband were married at Disney. Remember that's my dream. Well ok not marry but renew our vows on our 25th anniversary next year.

So we had our snack time which consisted of pasta salad, wraps, chip & way more than what a snack should have been. That's when it hit me I bet my long time friend MaryAnne's husband, who is the new chef at Camp Twin Lakes, must be there. So I headed back to meet him. Sure enough he was there. I have to admit he has changed the definition of camp food. He is absolutely the sweetest thing ever too. I wouldn't expect anything different for MaryAnne though.

Justin, who I found out this weekend is Jon's brother, played & sang for us. I was really doing ok until he sang Love Is. It made me think of Jon & remember Tyler Musslewhite. Then all of a sudden I looked up & remembered sitting at that same table the last time we were at camp with Tyler Copley. Wonderful memories that tugged deeply at my heart.

Marlee Anne was playing twister with a friend, Mike & the double chair headed back to the room while Mary Elizabeth & I finished up.  As I was sitting there someone put their hand on my shoulder. It was our friend Holly who volunteers. It had been 4 years since we had seen her. I was so excited to see her & cried & cried.

We head to the cabin & as we are walking there we see the most incredible night sky ever. WOW!!! The sky is actually filled with millions & millions of stars. For those of you that don't get to see those that often because of the town or city lights, they are there. I promise!!! Twinkling away to let us know that those that I have gone on before us & that mighty God of ours is still in control. How awesome to know that he placed each one in just the perfect spot.

As I was getting everyone ready for bed Mike & Marlee Anne walked out to the sports field (huge open field) to look at all the stars & the constellations. I loved hearing Marlee Anne's excitement & even Mike's when they got back to the room.

The next morning we were up & moving about at 6:30 really feeling quite refreshed. How did that happen? For some reason our children sleep at camp. Even Abe for the first time in about a week slept without screaming all night. WOW!!! See there's that word again!!! It was a true WOW!!!

Mike & Marlee Anne dropped us off at the dining hall while they went fishing. I was in the middle of doing their meds when Marlee Anne came back to tell me she caught a fish. She & Mike, along with our wonderful friend Molly who is a volunteer, were very excited!!!

After our wonderful breakfast all the families introduced themselves. It's so nice to hear about the families, the diagnosis, & where they are in treatment. It's good to put the faces & names together. We made family flags afterwards. Those were hung in the dining hall when we got finished. It was good to walk around to see them & learn more about the families.

Michala had been quite fussy all morning so we took her back to the cabin while Marlee Anne was in her age group session. As soon as Mike took her out of her chair she laid down & went to sleep. OK so nap time for her. I left Abe there with them too while Mary Elizabeth & I headed to get Marlee Anne from her session.

We went to snack time which is a treat for me because they have bananas which we try not to keep at the house since Michala is allergic to them. I grab a banana & peanut butter & put it under Mary Elizabeth's wheelchair to eat when we got to the rock climbing wall. Well I just finally ate that banana & peanut butter that Mary Elizabeth kept in her basket & brought home for me. I completely forgot about that.

Marlee Anne had signed up for the rock climbing wall with some of her friends. She made if a few steps up, looked at me & said I am ready to come down. I told her she had not even made it halfway & to please try a little harder. She made it past halfway & said she wanted to come down. I encouraged her to make it all the way up so she could ring the bell & tell dad about it. Then it hit me I could record it. I said what if I record it & put it on youtube. She loved that idea. She made it all the way, did an awesome job & rang the bell. That definitely deserves a WOW!!! I will share the link to the video once I get it on there. Just keep your volume turned down so you don't hear that southern drawl of mine. LOL!!!

It was time for lunch so Michala was awake & they met us there. For some reason I have always signed up for the first time slot for a massage. It's great but pushes me at lunch time. I had made a wonderful salad & asked them to save it because I couldn't finish it & really wanted to enjoy it after my massage. They were also having the camp store open during my massage. OH MY I couldn't miss that cause it's another one of my WOWs for the weekend.

I sat down in the lounge to wait for my turn. They said one of the massage therapist were late so I said I would be glad to wait for them so the other 3 parents could go ahead. Oh yes I meant to say this is something that the massage therapist volunteer their time to come out & do for the parents during family camp. You got it! WOW!!!!

As I was waiting this cool, calm & collected mom came walking in. She propped her leg up & right behind her walked in one of the camp doctors. She proceeded to tell him how she got the fish hook in her leg. WHAT?! Yes her son had laid a fish hook on her towel without her knowing it. When she picked up her towel the hook went into her leg. Now it had to be cut & pushed through her leg. She was sitting there so calmly & I was about to freak. I thought I am being no help. They needed something to cut it so I thought of the wire cutters in crafts. I ran down & got them. The doctor got them all sterilized & the MOM, yes the MOM cut the hook. WOW!!!

Dale, a dad from Barbados. We had a family from Barbados with us because there daughter is here in Georgia being treated for her cancer. His daughter wanted to go paddle boating at 2:30 when his massage was scheduled so I swapped with him. Worked out perfect for me because I got to finish my salad & go to the camp store. Camp store first of course. I have 2 awesome sweatshirts that I have had for a long time. They don't make them anymore but just this weekend they had 2 in the store. YAY!!! Another WOW moment indeed.

OK if ya'll are getting tired of my WOW moment ya'll better stop reading cause there are more ahead.

I got everyone settled in crafts before heading over for my massage. WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!! My massage was with my lovely new friend Keyli. It was her first time for a massage & it was nice to hear how she felt right afterwards. Later she wasn't feeling well but after we talked about it I realized that she had not drank enough water. She drank more water & began to feel better.

Marlee Anne had gone with some of her friends & one of the UGA volunteers to play tennis, putt-putt & gold pan. There were about 6 or 7 volunteers from UGA there for the weekend. It was really nice to meet them & they added lots of fun & help to the weekend. One of them even taught me to make a bracelet while Michele from Camp Sunshine took Mary Elizabeth for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. Their emails at Camp Sunshine are @mycampsunshine so I always say my Michele, my Tenise & my Ann when I am referring to them. We do think of them as ours.

After Mike got back from changing Michala & Abe's diapers we all went for a walk. We ended up at the tree house where Justin was doing drumming. OH WAIT!!! I left out a huge WOW moment. Holly was sitting with Mary Elizabeth while Justin was playing & singing after lunch. Mary Elizabeth began to smile so Holly turned her around so she could see Justin. She fell in LOVE!!! So needless to say we had to take her to listen to Justin drum. As soon as we walked in Justin asked if we wanted drums. Michala of course did. Let me tell you this was a WOW moment cause the drum was the perfect height for Michala to play while sitting in her chair.

OK I am getting ahead of myself. The tree house is built on a hill & I think it has to be my biggest WOW moment of the weekend. OK maybe not but it was HUGE!!! Words cannot describe this place & the pictures don't do it justice. This is mine & Mike's dream for Chimney Park. If I had the money I would do it now. As we walked up it began to take my breath away. When we walked through the doors off the big porch while pushing the wheelchairs in with ease I could not breathe or speak. Mike wants to take Connie, David, Barbee, Cheryl, & Scott on a field trip there. I want LaTrelle to see it too. It has a solar window & green roof that you can see once you climb the spiral staircase. There is a slide to slide down from the porch. Under the tree house is a tire swing & a porch swing. To get back up there is a rope walkway or steps.

When we left we took the nature trail. Along the nature trail there are several benches to stop & rest along the way or just sit to enjoy the nature. There are always some fun aspects hidden along the way. Bird houses are all along the way.

When we got back we met up with Holly & we all went to cooking. They were finishing up so we got to enjoy a cookie. It was time for Mike's massage & the rest of us went to the gym for Wacky Olympics. They did some really fun events.

Time for supper. Do ya'll see a pattern here? I even left off a snack time that we missed some where in there. Seriously you will never go hungry at camp. The definitely keep us busy & pack it all in. Supper was wonderful chicken fajitas & salad. However I didn't get my salad because Mike & Holly told me it was time for Mr. Tone. We had 30 minutes but I guess they thought I had had enough to eat.

Mr. Tone is a magical clown. He is a definite WOW!!! He chose Marlee Anne to assist him in one of his magic tricks. Her expression on her face was priceless. She can't wait to show Uncle Bryant. I wonder how surprise she will be when it doesn't work without Mr. Tone.

Afterwards we all put warm clothes on & went to the campfire, roasted marshmallows for s'mores & sang songs with Justin. Wonderful way to end the night. End the night? It was only 9:00 or so those giggly girls thought. Back to the dining hall for games. They chose Life. OH MY WORD!!! Longest game ever. They said no Monopoly was longer. I was so tired. After we did everyone's meds Mike took his two back to the cabin while Mary Elizabeth & I patiently waited for the girls to finish their very long game. It was fun hearing them laugh, cut up & be little girls. At that moment whether they were a cancer patient or the sibling of one, they were right then just a little girl. WOW!!!

Once again on the way back to our cabin we oohed & aahed over God's awesome creation in the sky. WOW!!!

Another wonderful night in our cabin & we were up & ready to go. Not to leave but to go see our friends once last time. There was a family I had been wanting to talk to all weekend & because of our different activities our paths didn't cross until this morning. Toinia came over to sit with me. She & her husband David have 10 children & all weekend I really admired the dynamics of their large family. Just beautiful! We hit it off quite quickly. I so enjoyed talking with her. They home school and I just loved the spirit she had about her. They live in Dublin so we won't get to see them often but we will keep in touch.

I also really enjoyed getting to know Deanna's family. Deanna was a friend of Marlee Anne's from sibling camp. They live near Hartwell.

It was time for us to say our goodbyes & as I walked in late with another family the wonderful slide show was already going. Jane was our photographer for the weekend & she capture some real WOW moments in some WOW pictures.

To close the volunteers gave everyone a bracelet. We were supposed to give it to someone in our family & tell them why. Before they even handed them out I began to cry. What an awesome thing! How often do we go through life everyday & not tell the ones closest to us how much they mean to us & why. Marlee Anne gave me her bracelet for encouraging her to climb the rock wall. Mike added in a thank you for getting us to come.

Without a doubt we are all refreshed & revived. Ready to face the world & find more WOW moments in our life. We are so thankful to the new, no doubt lasting friendships we have made. The volunteers have touched our lives in ways they will never know. We can't thank them enough! Camp Sunshine staff continues to be a huge part of our lives. Thanks so much  Michele & Ann for taking time to make this weekend so special. Camp Twin Lakes, Chef Jeffery & your staff - thank you!!!

Thanks to our dear friends for taking care of the house, bunnies & mail while we were gone. When I checked the mail there was a donation acknowledgement from Camp Sunshine. A precious long time couple in our lives that mean the world to us made a donation in Michala's honor to Camp Sunshine. Thank you so much for remembering childhood cancer month, our precious angel & an amazing organization that brings sunshine to many who otherwise it would be gone forever. What an awesome close to the weekend!

If you made it this far thanks for letting us share this special WOW moments with you!!!

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Counting my blessings!

What a beautiful morning to be counting my blessings! An email update is overdue so I thought I would share.

Last week was my birthday & it was AMAZING!!! I have to admit when my sister told Mike before we got married that I was spoiled it really has paid off. I continue to be spoiled by my husband & my children.

I guess it depends on what think of as spoiled. No not with jewels or lots of material things but things that I love. Naps, long hot baths, massage, hugs, kisses & lots of love! We get busy & forget the important things in life. So many times we are crossing paths, blowing kissing, giving quick pecks, saying I love you but not stopping to really enjoy those special moments. WELL this past week was nothing like that as far as rushing. We all took a step back & kinda regrouped. Always a good thing to do.

My birthday was filled with all the things I love. Well except a cake from Baby Cakes because they were closed. This was actually a good thing because thanks to Mike's wonderful discovery of Nuriche I have lost 13 lbs of the 20 I gained when Abe was in the cast. WOOHOO!!! Better than that I feel GREAT!!! No sugar or starch cravings even though there are petit fors from Baby Cakes sitting in our kitchen from the shower last night.

OK so Mike did cook me a delicious meal that I thoroughly enjoyed! I got a nap thanks to Marlee Anne & her excellent care of her sisters & brother. Snuggles from Mary Elizabeth & Abe with some special smiles thrown in there. Michala played ball with me, danced for me as they sang happy birthday & enjoyed the cake they got me.

The next night my BFF from high school took me to RLs to celebrate. OH WOW!!! I have never been there before. Cannot believe I waited this long to go. It was delicious! Love having a wonderful place locally to go to. I am still craving the grit cakes. Anyone know how to make them? I guess I should google it. Then we walked across the street to Square Perk. It's a new coffee shop in town that's really neat. We sat & dreamed of being an extra in Footloose. They were filming across the street. I just knew if Dennis Quaid walked in I would make a scene. Thankfully he didn't walk in. We had such a wonderful night. It hit me that night that we have been friends for 30 years. Can't beat a true friendship like that!

Thursday we left for Hilton Head thanks to some special friends of ours. We got there & Sandy's parents met us in the parking lot. They helped us get upstairs & get settled.  Michala loves going there because she has her own bed. It's really perfect for her. She snuggles in & actually sleeps well when there is not a full moon, which Thursday was. It was beautiful seeing it while driving there though.

The next morning I was on the beach by 7:30. Talk about paradise! This is not the ideal trip for our family because we are not able to get everyone out on the beach & really no one in my family enjoys the beach except Mary Elizabeth. I sat on the beach taking in all the sun I could. My vitamin D level should be up a little now I hope. Closing my eyes & listening to the waves come in & cleanse my soul was so therapeutic for me. It's so peaceful & always so amazing to me that God created this for me. The hugeness of the ocean. It's so mighty & God has control over that. What an awesome reminder that He no doubt has control over me & mine. WOW!!!

We had wonderful seafood Friday & Saturday night. I read a whole book while on the beach! That's huge for me because I don't know the last time I completed a book. Mike & Marlee Anne played putt-putt both nights with stops by Starbucks to pick up a coffee treat for me.

Marlee Anne enjoyed the one on one time with us since everyone couldn't go out to the beach. There were a few times when she mentioned she wished it was different. Saturday when we had been there less than 48 hours she told me she had had enough of the beach. She asked if she had to go out with me the next morning. That girl!!! She is definitely her daddy's girl.

Mike even got some studying in while we were gone. He is so dedicated!I have to take a minute to brag on him. He is so very selfless. He had no problem at all staying in so I could enjoy time on the beach. Most of the time he remembered to feed everyone too. LOL!!! He even gave up playing golf to spend time with Marlee Anne. He took her to a shell beach our friend Jennifer told us about. 

Sunday when I got back in from the beach I packed while Mike & Marlee Anne enjoyed some ocean time with the boogie boards. When we left we drove over to Disney's Hilton Head Resort. WOW!!! WOW!!! When anyone has points to get rid of PLEASE contact us!!! It was so nice!!!

When we got off the elevator on the first floor Shadow, a beautiful red headed retriever was lying in front of his Mickey dog house. His owner Blu was playing the fiddle. Does anyone know the difference in a fiddle & a violin? Blu was very nice. Shadow was pouting because Blu had not taken him for a walk.

We enjoyed exploring the resort. Mike & Marlee Anne enjoyed one of the hammocks spread out around the property under the huge shade trees.

When we finished we headed over to Sea Pines, our future home!!! WOW!!! It is incredible. We ate at Land's End Tavern that Sandy had told us about. If you are ever there make sure to stop by to enjoy their all you can eat crab legs & shrimp for $19.95. Let's just say we got our money's worth.

We got in all the rain on the way home but made it safe & sound ready to face the world once again.

Yesterday Marlee Anne & I hosted a shower for Sandy's son Nathan's bride-to-be. It was fun planning it & we really enjoyed having everyone here. Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law everything was clean because she cleaned while we were gone to the beach.

So you see my week was overflowing with blessings. I received so many birthday wishes & was blessed beyond measure. Thanks to everyone for being part of my blessings!

Now go count your blessings!!!

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

Childhood Cancer Awareness

OK this is straight from my heart. Very honest! Through the tears & all, with typos I am sure!

WOW! I cannot believe it has taken me 17 days to get this email written & sent out. Have you ever thought that you have dealt with demons or struggles, whatever you choose to call them, in your life only to realize you really haven't. So many times I go through the motions of the day, of our life filled with blessings & some how block out those past struggles or as I call the "C" one a demon.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness. Honestly how many gold ribbons have you seen this month? Next month when it's breast cancer awareness you will see thousands of pink ribbons. Chances are you will see one everyday during that month. Why do you not see as many gold? Well probably because I have taken this long to come to grips & write this email. I should have sent ya'll an email each day reminding ya'll about it. How many of you did not even know that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness? How many of you didn't even know there was such a thing? How many of you have someone in your family that has been diagnosed with childhood cancer? If you haven't it's my prayer you never do.

You see once a child has cancer it doesn't go away. It's not a cold that you can get over. It's a demon. It's something that lies inside that child FOREVER. Even after becoming adults childhood cancer survivors are affected by the side effects from the chemotherapy, the radiation, the amputation. They live with it FOREVER. It doesn't go away.

We are one of the lucky ones. I can tell you where I was standing in Boston Children's Hospital almost 12 years ago when I heard Mike ask the doctor after Michala's 4 hour surgery to remove that nasty tumor if it was cancer. CANCER? Where did that word come from? It had never crossed my mind. The doctor said it was nasty & he was sending it to 4 pathologist around the world. Well the denial began for me right then. I would not even think cancer.

I remember the spot I sat in the middle of the floor in our old house, holding the phone, listening to those words, as Mike & my mom walked in. I could barely speak the word cancer.

I remember where I was in the Aflac Cancer Center at Egleston Children's Hospital when Dr. Olson said it was stage 4 angiosarcoma. I remember that feeling. I can still feel that feeling. I saw his mouth move but never heard a word of it.

I remember sitting in the waiting room at Crawford Long, numb, scared & longing for this nightmare to be over. I remember hearing Dr. Munson say it's her life or her leg.

I remember carrying our little Michala to the operating room door. Giving her to the nurse. Turning her life over to Dr. Munson to amputate her leg. I remember standing in the hallway as they wheeled her past us to her room. I remember pulling back the covers to see my baby's leg gone. I remember that first night & every night for the months that followed closing my eyes & seeing Jesus with an ax chopping her leg off. How could my God, that God that I grew up knowing & loving, the one who said He loves me, do something like that to my precious baby girl. That's when I forgot how to pray! That's when I very dear precious lady in my life told me it was ok to be angry at God & even tell Him so. She said He already knows your thoughts & feelings so talk to Him about them. Boy did I.

I remember when Gene & Sandy came in Michala's room that night. I couldn't move from where I was sitting. My legs wouldn't hold the weight of my heart up. I remember making sure her leg was covered. I didn't want anyone to see my baby without her leg. I remember our first outing together after "it" happened. We went to Brooke & Stewart's Christmas party with our very close friends. I remember dressing her up so pretty and crying as I tucked in the extra part of her tights. I remember gasping when her blanket slid off & you could see her leg was gone. I remember Don so sweetly sitting beside her & putting her blanket back on her as if he knew my heart.

I remember it getting very close to Christmas & walking into our home you would never have known. Mike really wanted to put up a tree. Maybe to help my spirits. I remember having so much anger that I wanted nothing to do with Christ birth in our home. I didn't want a living tree in my home representing a living Christ. Mike put up the tree. I remember sitting on the couch holding Michala as Mike & Kim decorated the tree. I wanted no part of it. To say I was bitter was a complete understatement.

I remember taking Michala to Aflac after the new year for her first chemo treatment. I remember getting settled in our room & putting her beautiful gown on her that Aunt Paige had given her. The nurse said that's going to get really messed up. I wanted her to look pretty though. It lasted maybe 30 minutes into the treatment before it was indeed ruined. We had been told this was the sickest sick we would ever see. I thought oh but we have been through so much with Mary Elizabeth. NOPE nothing could compare to this sick! I remember watching as the nurse hung the first bag of chemo. I watched as that poison that was supposed to help heal my child went into her body. I looked at the nurse and through my tears asked when her hair would start falling out.

I remember putting gloves on to change my baby's diaper because those meds were so toxic. What were we allowing to go in our baby's body? What was happening here? I remember looking over at Mike as he sat reading his bible. How could he do that? Remember I had already forgotten how to pray must less read the bible. So now I am mad at him too because his faith was strong enough to see him through this.

When Mary Elizabeth was born the social worker told us the divorce rate among parents of special needs children. Again we heard our chances of our marriage surviving two special needs children when Michala was born had just doubled. When Michala was diagnosed with cancer our chances more than tripled. All I can say is that through this struggle my wonderful husband stood strong in his faith. God blessed me with an awesome Christian mother years ago because He knew my future (Jeremiah 29:11). He truly knew the plans for my life. He blessed us with some of the most amazing friends & family that never left our side through all that. I can now proudly say we have a strong marriage anchored by an awesome God.

I can continue with my rememberances but I have rambled on quite enough. I said all this to say if I had a wish it would be that another parent, grandparent, sibling or friend would never ever have to hear those dreaded words that a child has cancer. The only way this is going to happen is to have support in finding a cure. Here is my lowly plea for help with that. I cannot sit back & just say my child is a cancer survivor when my dear friend just lost her little boy because a cure wasn't found soon enough. Each time Michala coughs or we see an unusual spot on her I think is this it? Is it back? I want a cure for Michala and for all the other children. If you are able to give please do. Give in honor of Michala, in honor of your child that has been blessed not to be stricken with this horrible demon, give in memory of that child that is no longer with us.

http://www.curechildhoodcancer.org/ CURE Childhood Cancer is dedicated to discovering cures for childhood cancer through cutting edge research and providing education and support to patients and their families.

http://www.mycampsunshine.com/ Camp Sunshine has blessed our family more than words can say! They taught me how to smile again and reminded me that we could make it through this.

Thank you for anything you can possibly give! Please remember to pray for the families that will receive the news today that their child has cancer. It will be like two classrooms full that will hear that today. Please pray for the families that are in the middle of their battle. Some have been battling for years. Please remember the survivors & their families. Please pray for those who have lost their children to this awful disease.

With a thankful heart that is still in the healing process for so much!

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/

What a week!

WOW what a week this has been. Just realized I haven't updated. This is being sent from my charter email address & I hope I have it all straightened out now.

We still haven't heard from Abe's sleep study. Hopefully they got enough info. He slept for an hour then the seizures started. During that hour they had to put him on oxygen. I think a lot of it was positional. I guess I should have paid attention to it being a full moon. Got him settled back down & he slept for another hour. He was back awake having more seizures so they decided to disconnect him & send us home. It was 3:00 AM so I went through McDonald's drive thru for a cup of coffee. I dislike driving, especially at night on little sleep. We made it home safely though.

Let's see the rest of the week was fairly uneventful thankfully. Friday my dear friend came into town & I met her for lunch. What a blessing! I enjoyed that so much! I know it sounds crazy but it was really nice to have some girl time.

Saturday I went to the Horizons of Hope event http://www.horizonofhope.com/ which is an ACS & Kimberley Chance Atkins http://www.kimatkins.net/ fundraiser. I was asked to donated some items for their auction. I was so honored to be included in this great cause. It was hosted by Longaberger consultants. They did a wonderful job!

Sunday when I was loving on Mary Elizabeth she felt very cold. It's a weird cold that's kinda hard to describe. When I took her temperature it was 91. I started with the warming process & she got up to 93. She was having some respiratory issues so we decided it was best to go ahead & take her to Egleston. I love when things fall into place. Once there we had an amazing team of doctors, nurses & techs taking care of her. They took us right back & began working with her. They sent in the transport team to start her IV because they knew she was a hard stick. She was in the bed looking at me when "he" walked in. "He" said hey beautiful girl. Well she immediately rolled over toward him & smiled that beautiful smile. I knew right then she was going to be ok. Each time something like this happens I start thinking is this it. Is this the one that will take her life. Is this when her mito disease will progress. So that turning point at the hospital meant a lot to me. She continued to flirt with him & is now on restriction. LOL!!! He got all the IV stuff together & looked for a good vein. I told him to please let me know how I could help him. He said please pray. OH MY!!! OK Mary Elizabeth you can flirt with him. He got it on the first stick but because they had to get so much blood it blew. He apologized & was able to get the IV started on the next stick. The doctor said her labs were perfect & her xray of her lungs was clear. The doctor said he thought it was an upper respiratory virus & we could go home unless I felt better with her staying. He said he was concerned with her picking up something in the hospital. So we went home! Her temperture is staying between 95-96. As long as we can keep it up I think we can push through this. Thanks to everyone for the prayers!

remembering my brother Tommy

I think I may share these stories each year with ya'll but I can't resist remembering my precious brother. Sunday was his angel day & I didn't get to send this since we were at the hospital.

I have so many wonderful memories of him. I want to share a couple with ya'll. When I was little, well actually maybe 8 I still wanted to sleep with my daddy. My mom would have no part of that so Tommy would set his clock, wake me up before mom got up so she didn't know I slept in the bed with them. Tommy would even let me sleep in his twin bed with him. I remember him turning on his side & holding me so I wouldn't fall out of the bed.

When Michala was diagnosed with cancer Tommy really wanted to do something to help us financially. His dream was to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. He had just gotten it right before Michala was diagnosed. The last time I saw Tommy was at Michala's celebration of life ceremony. That week he died. After he passed away mom told me that Tommy wanted to sale his Harley & give us the money to help with our bills. To this day I still cry about that. Tell me that's not true sacrificing love.

Thanks for letting me share a couple of memories of my wonderful brother Tommy who I miss each & every day. For those that don't know that's where Abe's, Thomas came from in his name. Tommy & my daddy. I am sure they would both be proud to have such a sweet little boy named after them.

Kelli

http://nomatterwhathappens-kelli.blogspot.com/