Thursday, April 26, 2012

One more email

Ok ya'll please bear with me as I share my heart one more time tonight. Each day I pray that God will prepare my heart for what He wants me to learn & how He wants me to grow more like Him. I also pray that He will use me & my family, our children & Mike in any way he sees fit. I think praying that is not enough. It has to be more than words. My eyes & my heart have to open & be aware of all that I have sincerely prayed for. Sometimes I am so aware of why God chose me, of why we have to be in this place right now.

Tonight our precious friends Katie & Uncle Buck came to see us. I was telling them about our friend Lindsay being here. I sent Sara a text to see if we could go see her. I thought nothing about where we were about to go. I walked through the doors of Aflac where I first walked through 13 years ago. Behind those transplant doors I saw that little room & heard Dr. Olson's words when he told us Michala had cancer. I was brought back to today when my dear friend Sara - Lindsay's mom walked out with that smile of her's on her face.

Ok I have to take a minute to tell you about Sara. Here is the mom whose daughter was days from survivor clinic relapse with Leukemia. Here is a mom whose daughter gave bone marrow to her sister Lindsay to save her life. Here is a mom who hears that her daughter has relapsed for a second time. Still she walks out with a smile on her face.

While she is catching up with Buck my thoughts creep back to those horrible chemotherapy days. As we get up to go see Lindsay and we walk through those dreaded doors my legs get heavier & heavier. Two doors down from Lindsay was where Michala was when she had her very first chemo. Four doors down the other direction was where we sat as we were told our baby wouldn't make it through the night. Her body had handle all it could & it was shutting down.

Then I am standing in front of Lindsay's door. My heart breaks into a million pieces. No one could have prepared me for what I saw. Sara had told me she was so very sick. Sara told me that she was weak. No where in my mind & heart was she this sick & this weak.

How many times do I get caught up in me & mine. How many times am I so overwhelmed with life, with seizures, with medical issues? This week I even used the words self absorbed. There is a world around me that is hurting. No amount of money, gifts or even coffee & Krispy Kreme donuts (a story for another day) that will take away Lindsay's pain & heal her of leukemia. However those extra minutes I have stopped at a light, waiting on meds to dissolve, waiting on Abe's second beep on his pump, I can say an extra prayer for Lindsay, for her mom, dad & sister. God reminded me why I am here. Am I caring for others? No not like He wants me to be. Who is your Lindsay? Who does God want you to reach out to? I know it takes time. I know your time is precious. When we stand in front of Him and He ask was "this" more important than "them" what will we say? My prayer is that MY "this" will get out of the way so HIS "them" will be first & foremost in my life.

As I finished this email Sara text me that Lindsay had a nose bleed & platelets were on the way. Please lift sweet 13,year old Lindsay up in your prayers. These are times I don't understand why this happens for a reason.



Tonight I got "kicked" out of the PICU. Not for bad behavior like some may think but because from 7-8 there is shift change. I went down to the cafeteria for supper. I chose a small table over in the corner so I could collect my thoughts & thank God one more time for the incredible blessings of today. As I was sitting there a mother with 2 smalls boys walked up to the table across from me. I noticed the boys had big brother shirts on. The youngest little boy smiled & waved at me. It made the mom turn and look at me. I could tell from the way she was walking that she had recently had a baby. I asked if they had a baby in the NICU. She said yes she was born Monday. She pulled her chair closer to my table & began telling me her story. Her baby was diagnosed with spina bifida at 23 weeks. Monday they did a c-section & brought her here. The mother was released from the hospital and came here to be with her baby for her first surgery. Tomorrow she will have surgery for a shunt.

As she continued to talk the baby's grandparents came up. You know I always wonder about someone's support system in this situation. In a few minutes the baby's great grandmother sat down. After that dad came walking up. He stood behind his wife in this large opening cafeteria and said the sweetest blessing. He thanked God for the blessings He had given them. The mother had told me earlier that she knew her daughter had spina bifida for a reason.

I don't know that reason. Maybe someone else in there saw & heard that daddy. Maybe that changed someone's life. I know from what I saw tonight that this family is going to be just fine.

Amazing God!

Color amazing! Sats great! Smiling & laughing! What an incredibly mighty God we serve! He went above & beyond anything I ever dreamed or wished for! So thankful & blessed!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Thank you to our nurses!

Here are the pins Marlee Anne made as a thank you for Mary Elizabeth's nurses. Praying for some awesome nurses to take care of her!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Prayers please

Tomorrow Mary Elizabeth will be admitted to Egleston for gtube surgery on Thursday. That is as long as the anesthesiologist says the benefits of the gtube outweigh the risk of her being sedated because of her mitochondrial disease & respiratory issues. We know the benefits first hand but understand how great the risk is. I have gone into defensive mode already & put my bulldog skirt on. Please pray for protection over Mary Elizabeth's body during the surgery, peace for us as we wait, peace at home for our children & those taking care of them. Please pray for God's will. Thanks so much for the love & support during this time.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I'm a Little Tea Cup!

I'm a Little Tea Cup
There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.

Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."
As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me, pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said, "Not yet."

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, "Not yet."

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought.
But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Oh, please, stop it, stop, I cried." He only shook his head and said, "Not yet."

Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering, "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me. That couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember. I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this.

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.
God Bless You!

Sunday, April 08, 2012

He lives!

I woke up this morning with these words on my heart & mind. He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and talks with me along life's narrow way. He lives, He lives, salvation to impart!You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart.

I was immediately taken back to when I was a child at Calvary Baptist Church. On Easter Sunday you walk in with your Easter best on. My daddy with his suit & tie, my mama with her dress, hat & purse, then me with my new dress, new shoes, hat, purse & gloves.

As I was thinking back to those days I thought how very important it is for us to always have on our Easter best. Not the clothing but you know that feeling that we have in our hearts on Easter. We are dressed in our finest and don't want to get dirty. We want to walk into the Lord's house and Him be proud of us. How true for our everyday lives. We want to look and act our best for God. We don't want to get dirty from the world and all the temptations.

Let's think of it for a moment. What if everyday we were able to go to God's house to sit and worship. Wouldn't that protect us from the world? Ok so everyday we can't literally sit in His house but we can certainly sit in His presence. Start our day out in His word. Allow Him to surround us, our hearts, our bodies, our thoughts, our homes and our work places with His love and protection from the world so we don't get dirty. We have now armed ourselves with Christ and are ready to go into the world to share the love of God that many may never know if not for us.

The other day as I was talking with someone they said they don't know how to witness and share Christ love with someone. I told them that I am far from an evangelist. God will use anyone that is willing & when He puts us in a place He will give us the words if they are needed. Many times it has been a smile I have shared, a hug, a meal or filled whatever need they had.

My prayer today is that I will carry this Easter heart and spirit with me through this year not only just today. I am overwhelmed when I think of what He did for me, for us. I am amazed that what He ask from us in return is so very simple and easy. I am in awe at what lies ahead of me in His kingdom of glory.

I trust that each of you had or are having a beautiful Easter Sunday filled with an overwhelming thankfulness of what Jesus did for you!!!

Thursday, April 05, 2012

2012 Masters

Mike & I are headed home from the Masters so I will make this quick so I can spend more valuable time with him. I had to share this right now because I wanted ya'll to feel just a taste of what I experienced today.

First we were blessed with tickets to the Masters. Then everything fell into place for our children to be taken care of while we were gone.

Our Masters angel provided chairs early in the morning so that we had front row seats to see Jack, Arnie & Gary start the Masters. As they walked out I cried. I have seen them before but this was so very special. Really awesome men in my opinion.

Because we had such awesome seats we sat there to watch some more of the great golfers. We met some really colorful people that we enjoyed talking with. Internationally & domestic. One we knew right away was Canadian thanks to our wonderful friends from Canada. LOL!!!

We had our picture made in front of the clubhouse, had lunch & then made our way all around the course. It was an incredibly beautiful day that we are so blessed to have God lay put before us.

The only thing I didn't get was a green cup (cause it had beer served in it) but it was a cool green cup. Also I just knew I was going to catch a glimpse of David Feherty. Didn't happen this time.

Thanks so much to all of you that made today happened & for praying for us!