Wednesday, February 16, 2011

3 years ago

3 years ago the nurse had just come to get Abe to give him a bath so we could go home that morning. Within minutes I heard them call a code blue. I knew right away it was Abe. I waited a few minutes & no one came. I walked down to the nursery & was told to go back to my room. In a little while the doctor came to tell me Egleston was on the way to get him but she didn't think he would make there. 

When Mike got to the hospital we took the walk into the nursery to say our good-byes. Very similar to the journey with Mary Elizabeth years before. Once again family & friends came to journey with us. 

I would have much rather taken him home & played house. However looking back I know had that not happen in the nursery he wouldn't be with us today. 

Those 5 weeks in the NiCU were so hard. However I know the dear friendship that was renewed in Marvel Anne, the new friendship made with Nancy, Kim, sweet little Bridget, our dear Terri's, our forever friend Rebekah who spoiled him & of course our ever faithful Mo. Can't forget the NICU knitters that taught me how to knit. None of that would have happened. Even though I hated the suffering I am thankful for what came from it. 

As I hold him now helplessly as he struggles with seizures I am thankful God had other plans. Not the seizures of course but his life. I have learned so much in the 3 difficult years of his life. So thankful to be reminded that this is only a blink of an eye. 

I have had trouble today just being able to breathe. I so hope that this is behind me & there are better days ahead. For some reason I wasn't prepared for this to hit me so hard this year. 

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