While we were there I struggled with wanting & needing to be home with my family especially my mom. I don't understand God's plan & I try not to figure it out. It's His plan & He is in control.
Yesterday I was dressed & ready to go to church. Marlee Anne had said she had missed 7 Sundays so I knew we needed to go. At 9:00 Kendra text me to ask if she could take Marlee Anne. I really wanted to go see mom but didn't want Marlee Anne to miss church yet again. So thankful for Kendra.
I call mom every morning but it's getting harder & harder for her to talk. When I got there I noticed that she wasn't able to smile. I talk to my sister or brother everyday to see how her day is but I don't get to go over & see her. The mom I saw was not what I was expecting. So many little things had changed.
I see pieces of her going away more and more. I feel terribly guilty that I can't be there to take care of her. Debbie & Bryant have so much on them. I miss knowing what she is doing every minute but I am not sure my heart could handle this. I go to bed praying she has a restful & pain free night. Partly for her & for my sister & brother so they can rest. I wake up & the first thing on my mind is my mom. Did she make it through the night? Did she sleep? Oh I don't understand this journey!
Please pray for my sister & brother as they care for mom. Please pray for their health & strength. Also please pray for peaceful & pain free days for mom. Thank you!!!