Thursday, December 24, 2015
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
As we were trying to decide what and when do to something to honor and remember Abe I wanted to release floating lanterns. My smart husband said well I am not sure we can do that in Colorado so I called the Fire Department to check. Sure enough once again Mike was right. A sweet friend said do whatever you want to do. Go somewhere Abe would enjoy or do something together he would like. However "we" weren't together. The other part of me was in Georgia. Thankfully we had a couple of friends over and we all went to Dave & Buster's. Marlee Anne said Abe would love that and all the stuffed animals. He did love him some stuffed animals. We did some surprises along the way for others and hope it blessed them.
A dear friend wanted to bring balloons over and my first response was no. I just didn't think I was up to it. So thankful it worked out and we got to release some balloons.
The rest of my night was filled with love, laughter and tears with a friend I have known for two short months but it seems like we have known each other our whole lives. I love when God's work is so evident in my life.
Thankful for the virtual hugs I got from Georgia as my heart longed to be home with ya'll and among Abe's things.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Monday, July 13, 2015
Sunday, July 05, 2015
Sunday, June 21, 2015
No doubt about it, I truly bit off more than I could handle, way more than I could handle. I will say in my defense I did not leave the course until the cutoff. With that said, I had a truly great time. Disappointed sure, but I had a great experience. The scenery was spectacular. Running past abandoned mines with their scree fields and down remote trails was amazing. This marathon was more than advertised, it was either straight up or straight down. What really was difficult for me was the trails were covered in baseball and softball sized rock- no pea gravel. Mentally draining, I don't know how many times I had to catch myself. The rocks were so tough that they blew out my jel- cell on my shoes. Sorry New Balance you are not tougher than Leadville.
Mosquito Pass was my breaking point. The highest point on the course 13,200'. By the time I got close to the summit I could not quit coughing to the point I could not take in air. I was struggling. I was hacking as if I had pneumonia. Forward progress was by baby steps. Every time I took a step with my left foot I said Abe and every time I took a step with my right foot I said Mary. Maybe that's what triggered a very kind woman to turn me around and help me to the aid station and a visit to the paramedics. By this time I had a headache as well. Everything checked out okay, except for my pride which we all know comes before the fall. The trail up Mosquito Pass is serious stuff. Marlee Anne and I have found out the hard way that one slip could be fatal on some of the "easy trails" we have hiked in Boulder. People were running up and down Mosquito Pass - crazy stuff. Super athletes. Another indicator of the remoteness of the race course was that I had to hike down 2 1/2 miles to get a ride down off the mountain after my visit to the ambulance. So physically, I could not make it to the finish line and by the time I reached the next aid station I had missed the cutoff time.I am wondering now if I could have finished even if I had all day and not the 8 1/2 hours allowed by the race. Prior to the race I logged 40 to 60 miles a week and it was still not enough training.I am a little disappointed that I didn't finish. I feel old. You know what,I am old.
Anyway here is why I tried the Leadville Marathon. Since the events of last year I have struggled with having a quite time with no distractions to readjust my life without my little man and my sunshine. Work, moving to Colorado, lobbying for HB-1,local politics, work, commuting to Colorado, repainting the entire interior of the house, did I mention work. My life has been a blur.
Maybe that was good, maybe not. Our Pastor in Colorado several months ago had asked us to meditate on God for just ten minutes per day and I faithfully fulfilled that goal, however it never failed that I could not make it ten minutes focusing on God without the world creeping into my thoughts. I am ashamed. I needed some true alone time to remember my children.Enter Leadville- I knew I would be without phone, Internet and out in the wilderness, but more importantly I would be under physical stress and my thoughts would be simple. Left foot- Abe, right foot - Mary, and so it went all 16.1 miles. A lot of tears were left on the trails of Leadville. A lot of great memories recalled and relived. In the end no medal, but I got more than my money's worth- Thank you Leadville.
Would I do it again. Absolutely Not! I would encourage anyone to try it once. I promise, you will not be disappointed.
Special thanks to James and Emily Mills for my great race jersey. So many positive compliments.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Saturday, June 06, 2015
Thursday, June 04, 2015
Monday, June 01, 2015
First off my apologies for not updating before now. My list of excuses would take more time than I am sure you want to spend reading.
Thursday, May 07, 2015
Yesterday we celebrated our sweet girls 13th birthday. In two separate states, 1400 miles away, we celebrated her life. Last night I laid down with a thankful heart but still a very heavy heart that I have each night. When my eyes opened my heart was still incredibly heavy. Why Lord? The calendar - what's the date. The 7th. That dreaded day, that dreaded number. What month is it? How many months has it been. I begin counting. 6 it has been 6 months. After Abe passed away I didn't think I could ever hurt that way and especially not so soon. My heart had not begun to heal. I had not begun to process what was happening. I had not stopped blaming myself for Abe's death when God called Mary Elizabeth home and I was now blaming myself for two of my children's death. What if? What if I had heard Abe? What if I had taken Mary Elizabeth to the hospital sooner? I know in my heart where these thoughts come from but there is a war raging inside me that I battle every single morning. Before I even have time to put my armor on the enemy is attacking. I don't want to live my life like this. Self absorbed, trying my best just to get through the day. I want to be who God created me to be. I want to carry out my children's memory and enjoy this life with my husband and two beautiful daughters I still have here.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
As I pack up to move to our second "home" in CO I pray the next move is back to our HOME in GA. That would mean in 3 months some things really have to change. At first I think no way, then I think back on this past year to the handful of families, a strong little warrior, the mommy lobby, those precious daddies, the fearless leader, along with strong legislative supporters under the gold dome that did more in GA than I thought could happen. I think back to what we had to do to get to CO, who we lost in the planning stages, the man that was waiting to give Michala some liquid gold, the change the first dose made, the church family God provided us with, the GA friends He surrounded us with, the CO peeps we have fallen in love with and this beautiful state. Why put limits on God? I know if it's His will it can be done in 3 months. If not He will open the door for another place and He will continue to carry us on this journey.