Last night I had to put Abe's feeding tube back in to help him get over the pneumonia. Ran into some problems with it this morning but hopefully he and I will get a little better with it. It's so hard not being able to nurse him but I keep reminding myself it's for his safety. I am trying to pump right before his feeds so he will get fresh milk. Some of his meds are really sticky and a challenge to get through the tube. We will work all this out and hopefully be running smoothly soon. Right now it's taking quite a while to get it all done.
Mo asked me if I remembered how to put the tube in. I told her I did. All the while I was picturing Terri (NICU nurse) & I standing beside Abe's bed in the NICU and her staying OK do it. I laugh at that memory. I am so thankfully she talked me through it the way she did. I was so wishing last night I had them all surrounding me there for support. As I watched that bolus feed go in last night I laughed at the first one Rebekah told me to watch. She came back in to check and I wasn't even looking at Abe. I don't think I had taken my eyes off the bolus like it was going to go some where or something. She just laughed.
Marlee Anne said mommie when you get done with Abe you need to feed Michala, then you need to feed Mary Elizabeth, then could you please fix me something to eat. I told her I would be glad to. She said she would get her a snack for now. She said when you finish that it will be time to start all over again. She said don't forget to change everyone's diapers. She laughed and said except for me cause I don't wear one. She said what I was feeling.
I told mom this morning I am tired. Not only physical, but so mentally and spiritually drained. I am a overwhelmed! It's a lot, it's too much! I just need a breather, just a few minutes to catch my breath. I know this will get better too though.
Once Abe's pneumonia is better we will get the swallow study done. On a side note last night when I gave him his growth hormone shot the sight turned red around it. It had never done that before? Any ideas why Trisha, anyone? I forgot to ask Mo this morning when I talked to her and I am not calling her back again. At least not right now.