Grace is enabling power sufficient for progression. Grace divine is an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion. Without God's grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities, and faults (i.e. carnality) humankind cannot overcome. Therefore, it is necessary to increase in God's grace for added perfection, completeness, and flawlessness.
I have a dear friend that will not pray for patience for me. She always prayers for Grace. Isn't Grace amazing. I don't deserve it. I am far from deserving it.
Tonight thanks to God's Grace and a little help from my sister a man that is very dear to us came over and prayed for Abe. He sat and spoke very highly of my husband. Then he shared wonderful words about me that I sometimes have a hard time accepting because it's not me it's God. There is no way humanly possible that I can I can walk through this life, the journey or ride this rollercoaster ride without Jesus having a strong hold on my life.
Then the man stood up walked over and asked to hold Abe. He very gently took Abe into his loving arms. Abe was having a small seizure and was crying. He asked his wife and I to stand with him and pray with him. His wife and I laid hands on Abe and we all prayed together. As this man began to pray Abe quieted down. He sweet soul was at peace. The words spoken to God by this man bring peace to me still. I was reminded that God doesn't want my precious baby to suffer. As bad as it hurts me to see Abe suffer it's hurts my God just as much to see him suffer.
Not long after this couple left. Kim, Keith and Grace brought supper. Food - what is it about some good food. Like .... ok so I have no clever words here but I love it. Good food and a good glass of sweet tea. It doesn't hurt that while I am eating Abe is being held and loved on.
So Mike and Marlee Anne come in from a fun night out together. They both needed it so very badly. They eat and we all get to spend time together. Grace helps me get Abe's shot and meds together. As I am feeding him Kim stands up to tell him bye. The biggest smile comes across his face. At first there is a little tug at my heart because I having been working so hard the past week or so to get a smile out of him. She continues to talk to him and he continues to smile. He even talks a second to her. Again God's grace. I so needed to see that smile and to hear those sounds. I needed to be reassured that my precious baby is still in there even though right now those infantile spasm as trying to hide him.
I get everyone settled. The house is quite. I should be sleeping but I am drawn to the computer. I read a note on our blog from the mother of a precious 2 1/2 year old boy named Zack. He was also diagnosed with IS. She post her blog so I go there. I read his diagnosis and see what he is now able to do. Hope? Yes and again God's grace.
Prayers brought God's grace to me. It's always there and I know that. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with all of it - LIFE that I do miss the blessings. Sometimes I allow Satan in to say if He is your God WHY is He allowing this. I KNOW my God doesn't want this. He has plans for me. My life has already been planned way before now. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. That has always been my scripture but today it became new.
OK that's not to say this rollercoaster ride won't get faster and hard to hold on but with the support of our family and friends, prayers from everyone and God's wonderful grace we will get through this. I don't want to just get through it. I want to shine. I want us to shine as a family. I want God's grace to shine through. When this life is over I want to hear my God say well done my good and faithful servant. This is my charge in life. Having three special needs children and a wonderfully only normal one in the family child didn't happen by mistake. There is a reason God made this our family. I want to do my best. I want to be more like Him. I do not want the stress to take over and overshadow the blessings. I want to love this life, love my children and husband. I want to be a better child of God, better wife, better mother, better daughter, better sister and better friend. I want to be what God wants.
OK I gotta ramble on a little more. Today I told Mo I honestly didn't think I could do this rollercoaster ride of infantile spasms again. I thought I remembered it well with Michala. I thought I remembered it being bad but this is not bad. This is one of those bad words that Cindi has to say for me cause I can't use language like that. I told Mo that I got really excited those few minutes that he was doing so great again. I thought all that was coming back to him and the Vigabatrin was truly his miracle drug. Then bam it hits and it's all gone again. The seizures are back. Mo quickly reminded me that I have to enjoy those highs, those blessings to get through the lows. She is so right. That was evident tonight when I saw Abe's beautiful smiles. I haven't seen it again YET and it may be an hour, 2 hours, a day or two but they will come again.
Thank you! Thank you for letting me share our life. The highs and the lows. The blessings that abound even when sometimes hidden. Thanks for riding on this rollercoaster with us. Thanks for those encouraging words, for crying with us, for laughing with us and for carrying us when we are too tired to walk. Thanks especially for praying us through this journey!
Because of God's grace!!!