I am supposed to be sleeping because the gave Abe some IV toradol for his pain. He has been screaming in pain. Now he is resting.
I just gave him his meds for the first time through the gtube. I was nervous but it went well.
I am writing because I need some prayers. I cried out earlier and a very sweet friend of mine read through the lines. I have to share what she wrote because it covers my feelings, feelings I didn't want to admit I was having.
Here is what she wrote. "you are upset bc it's yet another realization that things didn't turn out the way you thought they would... they way they should if we lived in a prefect world. we'd have perfect children and they'd never hurt or get sick and they most certainly would never have life threatening conditions. they could never be snatched away from us in an instant now matter how hard we pray for God to heal them. It's about finding out we couldn't feed them and after all... if mom can't do it what in the world good are we."
Man how true. So I need prayers for me. Putting all the stuff aside that I know this was the right decision. I know its for his safety and will help him. I know without a doubt that God will carry me through. The feelings she described is something I need to deal with. They will come back another time like she reminded me but hopefully not for a long time.
Ok I am off to get some rest. Thanks ya'll for listening to my cries of help!
On a neat note Dr. Bhatia took pictures of the inside of Abe's stomach for us. They are really cool. I will scan them when I get a chance so I can share them with ya'll. Mike said it looked really good and was really clean.
Oh one more prayer. Please pray for Mike has he takes all 3 girls to the dentist tomorrow by himself. I have no doubt he can do it but Michala can be quite the challenge.
Ok I am gone for now. Our new nurse will be on soon. Pray for a good one please.