Wednesday, December 10, 2008


So many times in life I think I miss the picture. I get so wrapped up in what's going on that I miss things. I do not like the holidays. It starts at Thanksgiving and gets worse the closer to Christmas. It all started after my daddy died because he loved the holidays so much. He just loved life period and had the biggest most giving heart of anyone I know. Then when my brother died it made it even harder.

Well as time went on each year after Mary Elizabeth was born there were always medical problems around the holidays. We let our guard down and did too many things around people and she got worn down, sick and ended up in the hospital. We have since learned her limits and we are more careful. Each year I have those memories that come flooding back.

Then Michala was born and diagnosed right before Christmas. Her seizures were so very bad that first Christmas. I remember holding her and crying. Then a very significant Christmas was the next year when Michala's leg was amputated. Then of course there is always that fear of the cancer coming back.

Each year all the memories come flooding back. Yes there is Marlee Anne's first Christmas which I loved but it was shadowed by those horrible memories. This year we have Abe having all those awful seizures.

Monday night we had the priviledge of going to Camp Sunshine House for Spa Sydell Night. Marlee Anne said on the way up there let's go to the crib. When I think of crib I think of comfort. The Camp Sunshine House for us is just that - comfort. Some of the moms sitting around talking even hesitated when it was our time (well not me) for our spa service because they were in the middle of talking. We joked (remember Camp Sunshine & Spa Sydell we were only joking) and said they should just have food and let us eat and talk. Well that night along with the wonderful spa treatment I received I received much more than I ever expect.

When I was done with my services I went back to the table where Mike was talking with a teenager named Maria. Maria finished her chemo in July. As she sat in her wheelchair talking with me she taught me so much in those few minutes. She said I love Christmas. I asked her why. She shared that she loved doing things for other people. She loved searching for just the right gift for them. She asked if I liked it. I told her that it was hard for me. I shared about Michala's amputation being around Christmas, Mary Elizabeth's hospital stays and those memories got me down. She say well that's even more reason to celebrate and be happy. WOW!!! A teenager battling cancer overwhelmed me.

Today as I have dealt with Michala and Abe's increased seizures thanks to this beautiful rain I heard Maria's words loud and clear. I am continually amazed by God's love and how he places people in our path to teach us things that He has probably been trying for years to teach me. I am thankful He doesn't give up on me and tries new ways to make me see things.

I hope that this Christmas each of you will remember the reason for the season. I know that many of ours friends are sick, hurting, lost jobs, have heartaches and so much more. I pray that God will give each of you a peace that can only come from Him. A peace to let you know that He is in control.

I love ya'll and I am so very blessed to have you in my life!

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