With a full heart....

Sometimes when my heart is full I just need to share so this is just some ramblings over the past few days. It's days like today when all this builds up I wonder why God created my heart like this. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel so deeply about things. Then I am sure I would miss out on things if I didn't.

Sunday morning I received a call early that Tim's daddy had died. He had a stroke two weeks before and it was time for him to rest in peace. He was 86 years old and lived a very full life. This was an amazing man. I am blessed to have known him and have my life touched by him. I was blessed to have been able to spend time with his family the past two days. I don't do funeral homes or funerals well at all but especially not when it's someone's daddy or brother. Well Scheree knew that as soon as I walked in yesterday but I so wanted to be there for this entire family. Today the funeral was amazing. Just to look around at the people in the congregation here for this man. To hear the wonderful stories about his life. He was a well respected man and rightfully so. His family has a lot to live up to. I told Mike I pray that I live my life in a way that when I am gone no one has to make up good stuff to say about me. I pray that my life and the way I live it speaks for itself. Mike is a very good man in my eyes and in memory of Mr. Howard he wore a Georgia Bulldog tie. He doesn't do anything Georgia Bulldogs ever. This meant a lot to me that he did this for such a wonderful man. I feel for Tim losing his daddy but my heart hurts for the girls. They will miss their daddy. Linda spoke beautifully about her daddy at the funeral. I know he is proud of them all.

Abe's seizures have continued to be bad. He had about 30-40 today lasting from 5-20 minutes. He had one really long one. Thankfully they stopped by themselves. Still waiting to hear from the doctors.

John our craniosacral therapist called last night and said I have something God wants me to share with ya'll, could I come over. Sure. When he got there he said that awhile back he asked me when Abe's seizures started. I told him right after one of his immunizations. He said you blame yourself for allowing him to get that immunization. He said this is not your fault. He said God knew his life before he brought him into this world. He had a plan. He shared so much with me. I wish I had had a tape recorder and could play it for all of you. He went on to say that he doesn't understand why God chose Mike and I to take care of these 3 special ones. Then of course he added Marlee Anne but he said that she is wise beyond her years and she knows without a doubt why she is here. With the responsibility of taking care of these children He has entrusted us just like any other parent to raise our children to be blessing in the community to help better our world. To help prepare the world for Christ return. WOW! & WHEW!!! Talk about responsibility. It's enough in itself to know that we are here for a purpose but to realize when we are trusted with children to raise for their purpose it's a lot. John went on to give me some tips and ideas of massage techniques to help with Abe and with all of us and our home. I asked if he was planning to leave the country or change his phone number cause he was throwing a lot out there to me. He laughed and said no I will still be here and you can call me anytime.

Tonight we were blessed to have one of Michala's Aicardi sisters and her dear family come to visit. We had a wonderful time with them. I know I say this often but I have to say it again. I would not have chosen Aicardi syndrome for Michala but without that our lives would not have been blessed by all the wonderful families whose lives are also affected by it. This family is so very dear to us and we love them so much. They have loved us, supported us and prayed us through so very much! As Pam was holding Abe he started to have a seizure. She said does he always have a seizure when he is going to sleep. DUH!!! What an AH HA moment for me! He has just started that over the past few days and I didn't catch it. I was thinking that he was having a seizure and then going to sleep. No he would have some good moments which he did with Pam. She say his eyes clear and him look at her. Then a few minutes later she asked that question. She was so right and a light bulb went off in my head. That's exactly what is happening. He has always or for quite sometime had seizures when he wakes up but these have started recently and that's it. That's when he has some spasms with him jerking some, he does the eye blinking and his eyes roll back in his head. What a blessing it was for her to be holding him, realizing this and then talking it through with me. Thanks Pam!!!

Well my heart still feels full. In a good way, but maybe I left something out. I am sure I will fill in any missed spots soon.

Oh I know! I wanted to share once again about my precious husband. I know ya'll get sick of this and if ya'll want to ya'll can delete the email now and not read this. Yesterday he and I were talking to friend and he told them it was hard living with super woman. HA! We had some really wonderful conversations while we were together yesterday. Last night when he came home from work he brought me the most beautiful roses. I was so very touched by that because it's just not something he does any more mainly because I would always fuss and say I could have used that money for something else. He used to send me flowers every Friday at work when we were dating. Instead of fussing I sat stunned while he got on one knee, handed me the flowers, kissed and hugged me and simply said thank you for all you do. I think I often forget how far thank you can go and how very much it means. Marlee Anne was so excited to see him do that for me. She immediately grabbed the camera and started taking pictures. I am thankful she sees how much he loves me. Then this morning I received an email from him with a picture of Greg Norman. OH MY!!! Yes he is one of my 3 famous heart throbs. I was so hoping Mike could get a picture of him for me at the Masters but since he can't take his camera I will just have to hear a play by play from Mike and settle to watch him on TV.

This journey we are on is not easy right now. However I am so very thankful that God knew ahead of time just what I needed to make it through it. He has blessed me with the most amazing man who when it is all said and done will have no made up stories about him only true stories holding him in the highest regards. The most wonderful family and friends that anyone could ask for. Thank you so very much to each of you for your love, support and prayers. My prayer for each of you tonight is no matter what trial you are being faced with that you will allow God to bless you even if you have to searched deep to find one, find it, cherish it, hold on to it, share it and be thankful for it.

with a heart full....